Thursday, 30 January 2014

Pancake with Flaxseed


100g Wholemeal flour
2 eggs
250 semi skimmed milk
2 teaspoon Flaxseed

Butter/olive oil
lemon juice
Agave Nectar


  1.  Mix flour, eggs, milk and flaxseed in a bowl till blended
  2. Heat up a pan and put a small amount of butter or olive oil to cover surface
  3. Then pour in some mixture to fill the pan.
  4. cook both sides for about three minute
  5. when cooked put on plate top with lemon juice and Agave nectar
  6. roll up and serve

Monday, 27 January 2014

Tough week

A few days ago  i was blogging about my progress, I have been happy with my progress. Its a small change but i have a little muscle on my arms which i have never had before. i have also just increased my weights from 4.50 kg to 6kg, which i was happy about.
I have had another great session at the gym on Wednesday, that day i had a leg day although i did go on the pull up machine as my goal is to lift my own body weight. 

 The goal... 60KG. At the moment I've just gone down to 37.5kg from 45KG.

I was due to do a upper body on Friday but when i woke up on Thursday i wasn't feeling well and i haven't been well since. I have a cold which has zapped all my energy so i haven't been able to exercise. As the days have gone on iv gone into a depression. I am think if i don't exercise my muscles are going to shrink and going to loose the strenght i have gained. I can't wait to start training again, but until then i am stuck in a rut. God help me.

Wednesday, 22 January 2014

Exercise Diary ( upper Body)

Yesterday i did my upper body workout.
But first; Today i went to the gym. Omar looks after the kids for a couple of hours on a Wednesdays  So i can go to the gym, the only day i get out the house without the kids.... Otherwise I'm at home exercising around the kids

Exercising around the kids 

Because i am weight training its easier  then  doing cardio with the kids (i think).  I  do ten reps, then i feed the baby or do ten and then Abdu a drink. At the moment it isn't too bad because Ibrahim isn't getting around, but that may change as he becomes more active. I will keep you updated on that thou.

Yesterdays exercise

Increased from 4.5 kg to 6kg

3x 10 Biceps Curls 6kg each side

3x 10 Push ups ( easy vision)

3x 10 Arnold Dumbell Press 6kg each side

3x 10 One Arm Dumbell Row 6Kg

3x 10 Tricep Dips

Friday, 17 January 2014

Before and After (facial Difference)

Before 2011 
After 2014

Exercise Diary (Lower Body)

Today was leg day

Ibrahim was having a nap and Abdu was watching his film of the week Ice Age 2. So the perfect time to exercise

This is what i did.

Squat  2x 10 rep's 11kg
           2x 10 rep's 12kg

Lunges 3x 10 reps 12kg
(each side)

Push up 3x 10 rep's

The chair 6kg close to body

1st    45sec
 2nd   54sec
 3rd    1min

Calf raise 3x 10 reps 12Kg

Chicken and Lentil Soup


2 Large chicken Breast
1 serving spoon of lentil
2 Sweet Potatoes
1 Red Onion
1 White Onion
1 Tinned Tomatoes
100grams Plum Tomatoes
3 Large Carrots
5 Celery Sticks

2 Maggie cubes
3 Teaspoons Parsley
2 Teaspoons Black Pepper
2 Teaspoons Garlic Powder
5 Bay Leaves

2pints of water


Peel and cut the sweet potatoes,onions and carrots

cut up the chicken breast.

Put the tinned toms in pot followed by the water.
 then add all the ingredients. bring to boil for 5/10 mins, then slow cook for an hour.
Keep an eye on the water level.
Leave to cool, then Remove the bay lefts and blend with the food blender.

Sunday, 5 January 2014

Berry Protein Smoothie

Simple Smoothie

 120ml Orange Juice
90ml Semi skimmed milk
Hand of Frozen Berries
tea spoon of Flaxseed
healthy teaspoon of Peanut Butter

Put in a blender until smooth..

Exercise Diary (The split)

Last time i wrote, i talked about splitting the upper and lower body on different days. I have decided to exercise on four days. This is the plan

               Which Days                          Week 1                                         Week 2

Sunday               off
Monday              off

Tuesdays             home                              upper                                            lower
Wednesday Gym (when I Can)                  lower                                             upper

Thursday           off

Friday                home                                upper                                                 lower
Saturday             home                               lower                                                upper



This will start from next week. UPDATE; Some of the exercises i found out i was doing wrong, Now i'm doing them right its a lot harder.  So some exercises i haven't Improved in number of Rep's
 Here are the improvements on what I'm doing at the Moment. I have also added some, this is why i can see the split is a good idea.

WEEK 3                                                                                         WEEK   5  


25 push ups (easy version)x2                                               Down to 20 due not doing them correctly                         
25 triceps dips                                                                    Down to 20
20 triceps extensions  (with a 3kg dumb bell)                       10 reps - 4 and a half kg
20 arm extensions 1.5kg each side                                      10 reps - 4 and a half kg
                                                                    Bicep curl     20 reps- 4 and a half kg
                                                   Arnold dumbell press    10 reps- 4 and a half kg
                                                    One arm dumbell row   10 reps- 4 and a half kg

20 squats (1.5kg each side)                                     10 reps 4 and a half kg (now holding in middle of chest)
20 static lunges (1.5kg each side)                                 10 reps 4 and a half kg
20 saddlebag buster (each side) I do five then hold for    5 seconds  Up to 30 reps
                                                                    The chair   twice 30 sec 4 and a half kg


side plank 10 each side                                                      still 10
The plank 3 set 20 seconds x2                                           Hold for 30 seconds
upper body rotation (to be introduced)

superwomen 5 times hold for 10 seconds                      3 times 30 seconds

20 bum raises                                                             30  reps.

Next time it will be split into the upper and lower body.

Adore You

I'm out of sight,
So you can't see.
I stand here,
Watching you,
admiring thy.

Its amazing to know,
You belong to me.
At least, for now.
we will be,
united as one.

In company.
I used to pretend
not to notice.
I used to look away
when you used to look at me.

afraid to be seen,
Or not to be seen.

But now your mine
and looking is now fine.
As I sit,
And adore you
all the time.

Postnatal Love

I cried at night,
not knowing
what to do for you.
I tried so hard,
To feel this love.

Instead I felt rejected
and unloved.
I tried to understand,
But you cried to much.
I tried so hard,
but it was never enough.

This small child,
i wanted so much.
This connection i longed for.
This child i prayed for,
The one i dreamt of suckling,
But in reality,
He didn't want it from me.

I wanted to feel love,
but instead,
i felt isolated
and lonely.
I didn't want anyone
to know.
I didn't want it to show.

And the bystander's.
What would they say
if they knew.
I couldn't cope that day.
Would they point and judge,
they would criticise me.

how can anyone
this depression
that was at hand.
the uselessness i felt,
When Inside i was hoping
My heart would melt.

Postnatal love,
       that could not be felt.

Days When I'm Failing

But how can i be.
There so much to do,
But nothing is getting done.

My attention is always wanted.
I have no time to think,
almost on auto-pilot,
I cater for their needs.
always wanting,
always asking.

I want,
I want,
I want...

I need to organise
so i have so time for me.
Just to get the house work done,
I have to plan ahead.
sometimes i can't wait,
for when it's time for bed.

I want,
I want,
I want.

But how can it be,
I can't entertain continuously.
Then when i say NO.

                   Its wring,

I remind myself
It's a test,  It's a test.
It's a trial and a test.

But on some days,
when i get no rest.
I feel like I'm failing,
I feel like a complete mess

Saturday, 4 January 2014

My Sins Are Secret


My sins are secret,
they are only
there for me.
Only i can see,
the demon.
deep inside me.
Hiding away.
Seeking a way.
to come
out to play.
But i dont give in.
I keep them
restained within.
inside my brain.
So no one,
ever see's
 The real me.
The true
Demon within

I Don't Want Love To Die

I don't want to leave your side,
i don't want to leave you behind.
As much as i hate,
 to say good bye.
we all have to move on.

when our lives change,
when we grow apart.
Lets leave it,
and call it quits.
Before one of us,
gets left in a ditch.
Before the love turns to dust,
before the heart departs.

lets end it now,
 before that day,
before you let me down.
before I'm left in the crowd,
with only strangers around.

I don't want to leave your side.
I don't want to leave you behind.
As much as i hate to say good bye
I just don't want this love to die.

I Wish I Was Good

Its hard work being a good girl,
And i wish i was.
I wish i was completely sinless,
So i wouldnt have to answer.
For all the bad things iv done.
For all the bad things iv said.
Im just glad,
I wont have to answer
for the dark thoughts,
 I hide inside.
for the demons in my mind.

 I keep them all secret.
Keep them all within.
I promise to never reveal it.
For their the darkess Sin.

My Hidden Side

My hidden side

Is suppressed.

I want to show

All of me.

But it is a secret

out of place.

My true intentions,

My true self.

Hidden from the world.

 to avoid being disgraced.

Did You?

There was a period of time,
when you never spoke to me.
And when i spoke to you,
you would blank me,
like i wasn't even there.

So i found it easier
not to communicate
to stay silent.
To wait for you to come to me.
wondering if it was me,
you were really disliking.

Forever Be Mine

As the sun rises

My heart beats

Is Decisive,

Rapid with the heat.

I have to take a sit.

His beauty is so sweet.

A still image to capture

Your beauty frozen,

Frozen in time.

Forever be mine,

In this and the next life.

( insha allah)

shy arrogance

Ignore if you wish,

look down as though your the one,

you think everyone should look up to you,

and admire you.

but what have you ever done.

You act as though

you,ve never really loved anyone,

your to full of yourselve to care.

I always wanted to be there

The Perfect Husband

The perfect husband
is kind and gentle,
honest and funny.
He doesn't oppress
or belittle her.
He gives her liberitie
in speech
to speak her mind.
He doesn't shout her down
or make her feel unimportant.
he gives her freedom,
and doesn't let his power
go to his head.
locking her up like an animal.
he asks for her opinion,
and understands her needs.
he loves her unconditionally
and excepts her faults,
and doesn't try to change her