Friday, 19 October 2012

Homeschooling Why?


Homeschooling


When I first started talking to people about homeschooling I never realized, how controversial the subject was.  And the one thing that people kept coming up was the socialization of children who are homeschooled......

This is a big issue for me and I started to get worried about just that...

I was thinking to myself, if I can’t find a way around this problem then it’s going to be an issue.

So I had to do some researching and talk to other mothers who home school as well, to find out about how their children socialize...

But before I talk about that, I would like to share my reasons for deciding to home school.


The advantages

·         I don’t want my children to take extra classes outside of school to learn Islam.

·         I did think about a private Islamic school, but it is way too expensive. Plus I would have to travel to get to the nearest school.

·         My child will have more of a choice of what he wants to learn.

·         I feel children learn more when they are taught one to one, rather than sharing with 30 other kids.

·         I don’t want my child to have peer pressure, and feel like he has to fit in.

·         Terms time is too restricted and your not allowed taking you child out of school for holiday.

·         I don’t want my children being brain washed, I want them to think for themselves and school doesn’t allow that with the work load they but on kids...

·         I want my children to be able to communication with people of all ages and not force to be friends with people they wouldn’t choose to be friends with.

·         I want to get the gratitude for educating my child not some stranger I don’t know.


The disadvantage and solutions


·         Socializing.

This is something that I am concerned about myself. But there are plenty of clubs that kids can go to, to socialize, there are after school classes, scouts, brownies, homeschooler groups, going to the mosque. Going to friends houses. Also if they choose they could write to a pen pal.

·         Never getting any time to yourself;

I think the moment you choose to have children you have forfeited your time.   At the moment i put Abdu to bed early so i get some hours to myself in the evening, I may even do some courses or even work a couple of days, when my husband is off work

·         May cost money

Not as much as private education. Plus i could still work a couple of days.

I dont do funerals, lease dont make me


I don’t do Funerals

 Please don’t make me

 

The last funeral I attended was my nans funeral over five years ago. And to honest, my last. This is a very controversial subject but one I free I should discuss so my friends and family who decide to read this will understand.   These are my reasons and why.

I want to remember people as they were and not as dead, I don’t want to have to heart ache of remembering their funeral and how i felt, being reminded every time i think of them that my last memory was of saying  good bye because they are no longer with us.

 

A few years ago my mom’s best friend past away, It was a hard time for my mom and so unexpected.  This lady was my childminder when I was a little girl and I have fond memories of her. I was still in junior  when Mary looked after me, and she did for a good few years. (i haven’t used her real name just in case her family member are unhappy with me doing so.) 

I have only happy memories of being in her care and i enjoyed the company of children of different ages. I remember Mary having a big garden where i would play make belief games ( being princesses and fighting dragons etc)

Anyway I couldn’t  go to Mary’s funeral because i had to work that. But Looking  back i am glad that i didn’t. This sounds horrible. I know. how could i think such a thing.

  One of my last memories was when of mary sitting in the arm chair in the corner of the room chatting to my mom and her daughter.  We were having a buffet, this was something we did often. I remember we would always had a lovely time.

Looking back i am glad i didn’t go to the funeral because i still have this as one of my last memories. I glad my last memory isn’t of her in a box and I am glad i didn’t  have to deal with the heart ache of saying good bye.

Just because i didn’t go to the funeral doesn’t mean that i thought any less of her. Instead of feeling heart ache when i think of her, my memories are happy ones.

 

I know people will not understand and i don’t  blame them. It  is a hard thing to understand or except. I even told my mom that i wouldn’t go to her funeral, she said “ thats not very nice”   But in all honesty i don’t think i would be able to deal with the heart ache and why should i. There is no written law saying “ you better go to your moms funeral or we are going to kill you”

I would much prefer to do the food and feel like im being useful instead of feeling out of control. 

 

I remember being at a funeral on my dads side of the family, and i remember someone crying so much they could hardly walk.  I thought afterward how over the top is was to act like that, why come the funeral if your going to be so upset that you resk  making yourselve ill.  Maybe this person didn’t know they was going to have such a bad reaction. Crying is ok but she was in so much pain maybe it was better if she didn’t come. 

I hope i have not offended anyone as this was not my intention. And i hope those who know me will understand x insha allah